Memories of Love: Astartiae

This continues on after Ashtiarte sacrificed herself to save the existences from the first judgement and she was returned to the Eternal Sea.

The vision opens up with an old man on a boat. He is floating on an endless sea. This seems to be the Eternal Sea.

He casts a line into the water. A black raven sitting at the stern of the boat caws at him.

The old man replies to the raven 'Anytime. Anytime now friend.' The raven caws again and the old man goes back to fishing.

From off in the distance a white raven flies down into the boat and caws at the old man.

The old man turns to the raven and says 'Ah you have returned my friend. What have you found? Have you seen her yet?'

The raven caws twice and the old man replies 'Well then there is no time to lose.' He reels in his line and then sits down and takes to the oars to row.

The raven caws at him three times and he says 'Okay let me just make the adjustment.' He turns the boat a little to the right and starts rowing again.

The raven caws at him one more time and the old man stops rowing. He stands up and says 'Right here? Are you sure?' The raven replies with two caws.

The old man says 'Well then it is best we get to it.' He picks up his fishing rod. He looks at it curiously for a moment and says 'No this will not do.'

He looks at his ravens and says 'We will need a special line for this.' He reaches into his bag and pulls out a spool of pink thread and attaches it to his fishing pole.

When he is finished he brings from his bag a small heart-shaped key which he ties to the end.

He then looks at both of the ravens and says 'Well let's see what we can raise up.' He casts the line into the water.

The heart key hits the top of the water and sinks below. And the pink thread with it.

Deep below the water Love opens her eyes. She looks toward the surface and sees a glimmering key coming down toward her. She reaches up and grabs it.

On the boat the old man feels a snag on the line. He smiles with delight and says to the ravens 'I believe we found her.'

He begins reeling in the line. Below the water Love can feel herself raising up through the water as she holds onto the heart-shaped key.

The old man struggles on the boat but he keeps winding. He calls to his ravens 'A little help please. Almost have her.'

Love emerges from the water right next to the side of the boat. The old man reaches down and lifts her up into the boat and covers her with his robe to hide her nakedness.

She looks up at him and he smiles. She says 'I was dreaming.'

He looks at her and places his hand on her shoulder. He says 'Yes you were for a long time. Now you are awake and there are so many things I must show you.'

He sits down and starts to row. Love looks around at the sea. There is something familiar about it but she cannot quite remember.

Love asks 'Where are we?'

Old man answers 'We are on the Eternal Sea. This is the place of your birth.'

Love says 'Then I am alive.'

Old man says 'Yes once more.'

Love responds 'Once more you say. I cannot remember my name.'

Old man says 'Well that is easy. Your name is Astartiae.'

Love responds 'Astartiae. I like that. What is your name?'

Old man says 'I go by many names, but you may call me Father if you'd like.'

Love says 'I do like that. I will call you Father.'

They cross the Eternal Sea and come to an edge of it where a deep mist surrounds them. This is the Veil Mist.

Astartiae asks 'Where have we arrived Father?'

Father replies 'At the end of the first part of our journey. Now we should go. There is much more ahead for you. But before we do, we must give you something to wear. You cannot just walk around like that.'

He brings out a beautiful clam shell and opens it. Inside is a folded elegant dress.

Astartiae picks up the dress and says 'It is beautiful. Thank you.'

Father smiles and says 'My gift to you.'

Astartiae smiles back and raises her eyebrows.

He says 'Oh yes excuse me.' Then he turns around.

She puts the dress on and says to him 'I am ready to go.'

He turns back around and when he looks at her his eyes widen and a smile crosses his face.

Father says 'You are so beautiful as you always been.'

They walk off the edge of the boat on the water into the Veil Mist. They are greeted by another being.

He smiles at Astartiae and bows his head. The face is so familiar but she cannot place it.

Father says 'My dear beautiful Astartiae, this is the Veil Keeper.'

Astartiae walks forward and touches the Veil Keeper's face with her hand. She says 'I feel as if I know you.'

Veil Keeper says 'You did once. And I have never forgotten you. I have been waiting a long time for this moment. For you to awake again. You are as beautiful as always. Come, Father and I have much to show you.'

As they travel along the way he explains that he is the Keeper of the Veil Mist and that the mist itself is what is between the existences.

Great Father explains what the existences are and other little details that Astartiae asks questions about.

Astartiae says 'There is so much I need to remember. So much I need to learn again.'

Great Father says 'Save your questions for now. Where we are going you will find many answers.'

They travel through the Veil Mist into an area that looks wooded. The sky is full of what seems to be lighted threads weaving up into a great light above.

They go through the forest and there within it they see three women weaving. As Astartiae approaches the women acknowledge her and bow to her.

Father introduces them 'These are the three sisters. Weavers of fate and destiny. Every thread they weave is for a being in existence. Their fate and destiny all tied together as one.'

Great Father asks the sisters 'I must ask you to weave back into the past for Astartiae. There are things she wishes to see.'

The sisters start weaving a different thread. As it weaves out toward Astartiae images begin to arise. It shows her in her life walking among the first 13 existences.

Great Father says 'This was your life before and then you had a life before that. But this one is the one I wish you to see. This is once who you were. You are an Aspect like the Veil Keeper. You are the Aspects of Eternity.

The Veil Keeper keeps the Veil Mist. I myself am Father. You my beautiful child. You are Astartiae. You are Love, Beauty, Hope, and everything that comes with it.'

He shows images of the other Aspects and Father says 'Some of the Aspects have come and gone faded away. Others have forgotten who they are.'

Astartiae sees images of Usula, the Brothers, Sadness, Asteria, and many of the other Aspects. It continues on as these images roll by. 

Father says 'Some of the Aspects have remained and gained power as the existences have expanded. Others have changed and are not as they were.' The image of Eternal Death flows by.

The final image is of a familiar shape. Astartiae asks 'What is that one?'

Father replies 'Some things are best forgotten my child.' The thread and the images end.

The sisters go back to weaving the Great Web of Fate and Destiny.

Astartiae understands more now of what she is. She feels happy and warm inside.

She turns to Father and says 'There is so much more now than there has ever been. I wish to walk upon it. I wish to see it with my own eyes.'

Great Father smiles and says 'Then you shall see it, but first let us return to the Eternal Sea. You have much preparation to do. And well, the Veil Keeper and I have been working on a place that you may call home.'

Astartiae says 'That sounds wonderful. I am prepared to go forth and see what else has become. See what is new. Explore and discover.'

Veil Keeper says 'And what is new awaits your love to shine down upon them. Beauty and all that you are awaits them when you return.'

Astartiae, Great Father, and the Veil Keeper leave the sisters. They walk back through the Veil Mist out to the Eternal Sea where the boat is waiting with the two ravens.

Veil Keeper says 'This is where I must leave you but I will always be close by. I have granted you safe passage through the Veil Mist to take you to all these new places you wish to discover. Love be with you sister and spread your love.'

The Veil Keeper walks back into the mist as Astartiae and Father get on the boat.

Great Father rows and asks 'How do you feel my child?'

Astartiae answers 'Excited. I am looking forward to so many new things.'

Great Father says 'And so many new things you shall see. But I must warn you my child. Some things you shall see you may find disturbing. Others may terrify you and sadden you.'

Astartiae says 'I understand Father, but I am looking forward to the experience. For if I am Love, love can always overcome. This I know within myself.'

Off in the distance is a beautiful palace floating upon the waves. Astartiae is excited and her eyes light up with delight.

Astartiae asks 'Is this for me? Is this my home?'

Father replies with a smile on his face 'Yes it is. The Veil Keeper and I made it just for you. The Eternal Sea is the place where you can always call home. Where those who are wicked cannot follow you. This place is safe for you and for the children that you will have.'

Astartiae smiles with delight as the boat reaches the shore. She departs off the boat with Father. He takes her hand and they walk up the steps of the palace.

Before they reach the top Father stops and takes her other hand in his. He faces her and says 'Go forth beautiful child of Love. Spread what you are. You will learn and grow and so will everything around you.'

Great Father kisses Astartiae on the head and she embraces him. With a smile on her face she watches him walk back down to the boat and row off into the distance.

Part two...

This opens up with Astartiae dreaming of a beautiful place that she has never seen before.

By now she has traveled far and wide and visted many existences and realms, she has met others, loved for a short time, given her love and watched love spread.

She has also had some children. Even though some of her children have been lost to her she continues on.

But this place she sees in her dream she has never been to before. It is familiar yet unfamiliar to her.

In the dream she is watching a black figure running up the side of a mountain with a beast at his side. He makes it to the top and looks out over across the mountain.

Astartiae awakens from the dream. She arises, stretches, then drinks from a chalice that is by her side. She walks over to a shell and picks up a paint brush. She begins painting.

She paints the beautiful mountains she saw within her dream and the landscape that stretched out across it. When she finishes she smiles and puts her paints away.

Astartiae looks around the room at all the beautiful images she has painted on the walls. She steps over to a certain section where there is a painted image of a black object.

There beside it is the black being with red eyes that she keeps seeing in her dreams. She touches the painting with her fingers and says 'Who are you?'

She gets lost in thought but gets out of it when she hears the sound of a young child's voice.

Young boy says 'Mother where are you?'

Astartiae calls out to him 'I am in here Vetian.'

The young boy runs up to her smiling. He has three small beautiful elegant flowers in his hands.

She reaches down sniffs the flowers and smiles 'Thank you my wonderful son.' She kisses him on the forehead.

Vetian asks 'Mother can I go play on the Eternal Sea? Please? Please?'

Astartiae says 'Alright but be back. Your uncle will be coming soon. We must meet up with Father. There is a banquet being held in my honor that I must attend. So not too long now. Do not go near the Veil Mist.'

Vetian says 'I know mother. I won't be too long. Thank you.' He kisses her then takes off. 

Astartiae is selecting from her dresses what to wear. She looks at each of them to decide on which one is best. She lays out the dress and brushes her hair.

As she looks into the mirror she notices that the image of the black being on the wall moved as if the head turned.

Astartiae watches the image as it slowly turns and a hand reaches out towards the black object next to it. She is entranced by this.

Then she hears a voice 'Sister. Astartiae?'

Astartiae is broken from her trance and looks up. There is a being standing there before her. This is Riovo but she mistakes him for his brother Thoth.

Astartiae says 'Yes I am here Thoth and I am okay.'

Riovo looks at her strangely and says 'It is me Riovo. Are you sure you are okay sister?'

Astartiae shakes her head and says 'Oh yes. I am just still a little tired.'

Riovo says 'Are you sure you are good to go to Nautrian for the banquet held in your honor tonight?'

Astartiae says 'Yes I must go. The people there have been waiting a long time and have gone through much preparation for this celebration.'

Riovo says 'It is settled then. Father will meet us there.'

Astartiae prepares as Riovo waits on the steps of her palace looking over the Eternal Sea.

When she is ready she joins him and asks 'Have you seen Vetian?'

Riovo says 'No. I didn't know he was gone.'

Astartiae feels panic. She says 'We must find him quickly!'

They go out across the Eternal Sea calling out his name. There is panic on her voice.

Riovo yells with a loud strong stern voice 'Vetian! Where are you boy?'

Astartiae sees something floating on the water. It is a small cloak that Vetian wears. She rushes toward it and pulls it from the water.

Astartiae is in even more panic 'Something has happened to him!'

She looks to see the edge of the Veil Mist and fear rushes over her.

Riovo says 'Do not worry sister. I will go in and find him. Nothing will happen to him. You will not lose another child this way.'

Just then she hears the voice of Vetian. 'I am here mother.' He emerges from the mist with the Veil Keeper.

Astartiae rushes up to him and takes a knee in front of him. 'Don't ever do that again. Why did you go into the Veil Mist?'

Vetian replies 'I saw the Veil Keeper and I wanted to go in there to greet him.'

Veil Keeper says 'Do not scold the child. I emerged from the mist and he came to greet me. There was an urgent message so I had to step back for a moment. He was in no danger and in my care the whole time. I apologize sister. This shall not happen again.'

Astartiae looks at the Veil Keeper sternly and then looks back at Vetian. She kisses him on the forehead and hugs him. She takes his hand and says 'Come we must go. A banquet awaits us and my worries are over.'

Astartiae, Vetian, Riovo, and the Veil Keeper join Great Father on the planet of these beings celebrating. They are six-armed beings, tall with pointy ears, in all different shades and colors.

The King and Queen greet Astartiae and she sits at the head table with them as their guest of honor.

There is much entertainment down on the main floor. Jugglers, singers, dancers, sorcerers, all different kinds of things. The banquet is grand.

Vetian sits alongside Astartiae up where she is seated. Father is on the other side of us. Next to him are the King and Queen of the beings. On the other side of Vetian sits the Veil Keeper. There is small talk.

Veil Keeper says to the King and Queen 'This place you have here is beautiful and grand. But aren't you worried that some may try to come and take it from you?'

The King replies 'We do not worry. Our defenses are great and we have many allies. Plus the slavers never come out this far into these realms.

We have no fear of the seven houses or the great faceless one with his dark armies. Here we know little of strife and much of peace and happiness where love and beauty reigns.'

The Queen says 'Yes love and beauty and hope in all things. That is why we honor you great Astartiae. It warms our hearts to have you here before us.

Astartiae says 'It is an honor for me to be here and for you to show such celebration. Now let me honor you. My son here sings the most beautiful songs.' She turns to her son 'Would you sing for them?'

Vetian looks up and says 'I would love to sing for them mother.' He gets up from his chair and rushes down to the floor. The room falls silent. He begins to sing a beautiful song. It brings some to tears of joy

The Veil Keeper moves over to the seat next to Astartiae and whispers in her ear 'He is a wonderful boy and a beautiful child.'

Astartiae replies 'Yes, much like the one we had.'

She turns to look at him. His face has shock and embarrassment.

Astartiae continues 'Why didn't you tell me it was you who came to me? I would have accepted you.'

Veil Keeper says 'I was too shy for I am not worthy of your love and you have loved many. I could never be just yours and yours alone.'

Astartiae says 'Yes I have loved many. That is what Love and Beauty is. Love is not just to be kept for one persons desires.'

Veil Keeper says 'You are wise in that sister. But tell me, out of those you have loved and the children you have had with them. Isn't there one that you hold dear to your heart all your own?'

Astartiae turns away from him and her head lowers. She says 'If there is one I do not know them.'

Vetian finishes singing his song. He is given a standing ovation and he bows. Astartiae also stands and applauds. When he finishes his bow he looks up at her and she smiles.

Vetian then joins her again at his seat and the banquet continues. When it is over Astartiae thanks the King and Queen and begin to part ways.

Riovo had to leave earlier but he left Astartiae with a gift. A fine beautiful golden hairbrush.

Veil Keeper says 'I will bring you back through the mist to the Eternal Sea. You and your son.'

Astartiae embraces Great Father and kisses him on the cheek. 'Thank you Father. Come to visit me soon. Vetian misses you and I miss our time out on the Eternal Sea.'

Great Father replies 'I miss our time there too. The fishing is really good and I enjoy as you swim all around me in the water.'

They then depart ways and leave. The Veil Keeper takes Astartiae and Vetian back through the mist and returns them to the Eternal Sea where they say their goodbyes.

In her palace Vetian rest next to Astartiae for the night and they both fall asleep. That night when she dreams she is restless.

She sees the same being again. He is weeping in grey ash. She can hear him and feel his pain and suffering.

Then the dream becomes more intense. She sees visions of this being destroying others. The pain and suffering is great. She suddenly awakes. She notices her son Vetian is still asleep.

Feeling a little unsettled she rises up and walks over to the painting of the being that is on her wall. She sits and wonders 'Who are you?'

She hears Vetian behind her 'Mother are you okay?' He walks over to her and she picks him up.

Astartiae says 'I am okay. Just awakened by a dream.'

Vetian notices the picture of the black being on the wall. He asks 'Who is that mother?'

Astartiae answers 'I wish I knew.'

Vetian replies 'He looks sad mother.'

Astartiae says 'Yes he is sad.'

Vetian asks 'You are not sad are you mother?'

Astartiae smiles and kisses him on the forehead and says 'No. I have you and so many things.' They both return to bed and rest.

A little while later Astartiae is swimming with her son next to a boat where Father is fishing. They are enjoying and laughing.

While Astartiae and Vetian swim through the water Father keeps casting out his line with no luck of catching anything so far.

Astartiae places Vetian along the boat. Father says 'Wait. I think I got something. Come boy and help me reel it in.'

Father gives the fishing pole to Vetian and says 'With all your might boy reel him in.'

Vetian reels in a beautiful striped blue and gold fish with long fins. Father gently frees it from the hook and then heals the inside of its mouth.

Great Father says 'Look boy. That is a grand catch.'

Vetian says 'What do we do with it now Father?'

Great Father says 'We must return to where it came. It is only part of the catch that I wish to see. Now this beautiful creature, we have terrified it enough. Return him to the waters.'

Vetian places it in the water and it swims away. He asks 'Can we catch another?'

Great Father says 'Well if your mother doesn't mind.'

Astartiae says 'I do not mind. I going to swim out a little bit. You enjoy your time.'

She can hear Father and Vetian chuckling and laughing in the background as it becomes more and more distant.

Then Astartiae notices something that has landed on the surface of the water. She cannot quite see it so she swims closer. She rises up and walks on the water toward it.

There is a strange looking flying creature. It is kind of grotesque and looks like it is made of bone. As she gets closer the creature startles and flies up into the mist.

She follows it and she hears a male voice 'Astartiae come closer.' She does not recognize the being. He frightens her.

The being says 'No need to be frightened Astartiae. I am here for you.'

Astartiae says in a stern but still kind of frightened voice 'What do you want? What are you doing here? Do not dare cross inside past these mists or my Eternal Sea shall swallow you forever and drag you down into an abyss you shall never return from.'

The being says 'And I believe it will. But I have something of interest if you will allow me to cross.'

Astartiae says 'You are a frightful being and there is nothing of interest you have that I could possibly want. Now be gone.'

The being lowers his hand with a fist and then opens it. Inside is a black image of the object Astartiae has seen in her dreams.

Astartiae is surprised for a moment. She recognizes this. It is the same object she has painted.

It is the same object she saw with the sisters when they were weaving the thread. The one Great Father told her was best forgotten.

The being says 'You see Astartiae, I do have something you want.' He closes his hand and the image disappears.

Astartiae asks 'Why are you offering this to me?'

The being says 'Because you must know the truth of things. You must remember. You are Love and I am Death. Eternally. I will cross into all existences, but I know what you desire deep down inside. You desire to know what you have been told to forget. I can give this to you if you let me cross into the Eternal Sea.'

Astartiae thinks for a moment. Then she realizes the stories she has heard of this being and what he brings with him. Letting him cross into the Eternal Sea would be able to lead him anywhere into any existence.

She looks up into his eyes and says 'Be gone being. You will never cross into the Eternal Sea. Stay where you are. Leave the other existences from your Eternal Death. Come here no more. I shall have my seas swallow you and drag you into the abyss.'

She turns to walk away and hears Eternal Death behind her. He says 'If you do not believe what I have to offer ask Father. Ask him to tell you the truth of what he has kept from you.'

Astartiae returns to Great Father and Vetian where they are fishing. She climbs into the boat and says 'It is time to go home. I am tired.'

Great Father and Vetian look at her puzzled but ask no questions. They row back toward the palace.

When the land on the shore Vetian jumps from the boat and runs inside. As Father starts to pack up the boat and make his preparations to leave Astartiae speaks to him.

Astartiae says 'I have seen Eternal Death and he has shown me something.'

Great Father suddenly stops what he is doing and faces her with a worried look on his face. He asks 'What has he shown you?'

Astartiae says 'He told me to ask you to tell me the truth of what you want me to forget.'

Great Father sighs 'The answer to that question is a price that you must not be willing to pay.'

Astartiae says 'What price could be so high to keep such a memory from me? I wish to know Father. I will find out. So tell me, I will pay any price.'

Great Father becomes more stern and his voice a little more raised. He places his hands on both her shoulders. He says 'No price is worth knowing that answer. No sacrifice. Not again.'

He turns and leaves. They are both feeling unsettled by the final words exchanged before his departure.

Later on Astartiae is tucking her son Vetian into bed. Once he is asleep she wanders out onto the shores of her palace. She wishes to know the answers to her dreams, to this memory that all wish her to forget.

A mist swirls next to her and the Veil Keeper shows himself. He says 'You seem troubled sister and I know why.'

Astartiae says 'I just want to know what it is. I dream of this place yet I have never seen this being. I have never seen any others like it. I want to know why it suffers. Why it is sad.'

Veil Keeper says 'I can give you the answers. I can take you to a place but only this one time that you can go. I know this has been troubling you for some time sister and I have thought on it.

I have gone to great lengths and journeyed within the borderlands to obtain something that can help you find the answer to your question. But it comes at a great price. If you are willing to make that sacrifice then I can give you the answer that you seek.'

Astartiae says 'To remember what I was I will make any sacrifice. Whatever price I must pay then I will pay.'

The Veil Keeper brings up into his hands a small object. He says 'This is one of the puzzles from long ago. This will take you to where your answer is.'

Astartiae holds the puzzle in her hand. It has symbols on it that seem familiar. She touches the symbols with her fingers and they light up.

Dark mist swirls around her and everything is clouded. When the mist dissipates she is in a place where the wind is blowing and there is nothing but ash.

Astartiae feels heavy with pain, suffering, and sadness. She looks around but there is nothing except for dunes of ash.

She takes a few steps. Then in the distance the ash slowly forms to barely make out a figure.

Astartiae says to the figure 'Who are you? Where am I? It seems familiar but unfamiliar.'

The figure replies 'You are in a place of your dreams. What it has become. What it is now.'

Astartiae says 'Is this the sadness that I feel then? This place was once beautiful.'

The figure says 'It was long ago. Now all that remains is dust and ash.' His hands slowly come together.

He says 'In time you must find me and heal me. I will return. Search for the guardian.'

In the figure's hands the ash forms together into a humanoid winged being. Not many details. Then it disappears.

The figure speaks one last time and says 'Now go. Be among the existences. Live Love.'

The black mist then swirls around Astartiae again and as it dissipates she has returned to the shore of her palace. She feels weak and faint. She falls to the ground.

The Veil Keeper comes to her side and picks her up. He says 'Sister. Sister!'

Just then a flock of ravens fly down and form into Great Father. He is angry which is usual for him.

Great Father says to the Veil Keeper 'What have you done?! What have you done?!'

Great Father pushes the Veil Keeper aside and picks Astartiae up. One of her beautiful hairs, a single strand, turns grey and falls from her head.

Veil Keeper says 'She needed to know the truth Father. She needed to remember.'

Great Father turns to him angrily 'Stay away from her! You don't know what you have done! Not this time. Now go and never come back here!'

The Veil Keeper hangs his head. Mist forms around him and he vanishes.

Great Father places Astartiae on her bed. She wakes up and sees his face.

Astartiae says 'Father I have been shown the place in my dreams. It is gone. It once was but now it is no more.'

Great Father smiles and says 'I am sorry I kept it from you for so long. You had to know.' He kisses her on the forehead. 'Now rest. I will come back and check on you. Sleep now close to your son. The answers to all your questions you have received.'

The vision flashes forward and time goes by. Vetian grows and Astartiae continues to travel to the existences to spread love and beauty.

Although her skin does not wither or wrinkle and her beauty does not fade her hair turns grey. As time goes by she travels less and spends more time resting.

Vetian grows into a man and one day Great Father comes to the island. Vetian greets him on the shore and embraces him. He looks worried. There are tears in his eyes.

Vetian says 'I am glad you came Father. It is mother, something is wrong. She is very weak.'

He leads Great Father to the bed where Astartiae is resting. She looks up at him and smiles, but she is very weak.

Great Father takes her hands in his and says 'I am here beautiful one. I am here. If there is anything I can do for you. Please.'

Astartiae smiles and says 'I wish to bathe in my waters. I wish to float in them. Will you help me Father?'

Great Father lowers his head and a tear falls from his eyes. He picks her up and carries her down to the shore. Vetian hangs his head. She touches his hand as tears roll down his face.

Astartiae smiles and says 'I am only going away, but I will always be with you. You make me so proud. We will see each other again.'

Great Father carries her down to the water and holds her in it. He looks down with tears on his face.  

Astartiae says 'Don't weep Father. One day I will rise again. This we know. When I rise I hope to see you there. Watch over my children Father. Guide them.'

Great Father says 'I will.'

Astartiae closes her eyes and Father lets her free from his hands. She floats off into the water and sinks beneath the waves.

Great Father with tears in his eyes says 'Until you rise again Love and Beauty. Hope will always remain.'

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