Fiylin: Wreck a Death Casket

The incarnation story for Fiylin Xansheel begins... Fiylin sits with Blacklace and Bloodblade in Blacklace’s cabin upon her ship. The three of them are laughing and carrying on, and the wine is flowing.

Blacklace tilts her bottle back, and as she drinks while trying to get the last drop of wine out of the bottle, the chair gives out from under her and she falls backward. This is hysterical to Fiylin Xansheel and Bloodblade.

Blacklace says ‘What the hell are you all laughing at? Haven’t you ever seen me fall down before? I am lucky I have this ship to cushion me ass beneath me.’

Fiylin laughs and says ‘I’ll get the crew working on those broken boards right away.’

Blacklace says ‘Don’t get the crew to do nothin until I get my fat ass up and finish the rest of this wine. It was a good haul today boys, a good haul.’

Bloodblade laughs and says ‘Did you see their faces? They were all out there upon the shore all carrying on like they were having fun. Did you see their faces, Fiylin? Did you see them when they saw our ship coming up on the horizon?’

Fiylin Xansheel drinks a little more and nods in acknowledgment to Bloodblade. Fiylin leans back and places his hands over his chest. He seems deep in thought, and Blacklace notices.

Blacklace says ‘What seems to be on your mind, old buddy? What, ya got a girlfriend? Some big ole goblin down in Svartalfheim or something? Oh I know how ya like the big green girls.’

Fiylin Xansheel says ‘Ha! Some girlfriend? I have many.’

All three of them burst out laughing. Then Blacklace stops and stares at Fiylin straight in his face and says ‘Naw, I know there’s something on your mind, lad. Tell me! Tell your ole captain here.’

Fiylin says ‘I’ve been thinking about a vessel in Midgard in the realm of men.’

Both Bloodblade and Blacklace stare at him for a moment and then look at each other. There is a brief moment of silence before Bloodblade and Blacklace burst out laughing.

Fiylin Xansheel sits up straight with a puzzled look upon his face and says ‘What’s so funny?’

Blacklace then slaps her knee and says ‘You don’t wanna go to the world of men. Have you seen it down there lately?’

Fiylin says ‘Yes I have.’

Blacklace says ‘So if you have been then it means you’ve been using my secret spyglass. The one that can see beyond realms, eh? You’ve been staring in it too long, Fiylin.

Losing yourself upon daydreams of Midgard and the world of men. Haha! You don’t wanna go there. Trust me, it’s a horrible place.’

Fiylin says ‘Well I’d like to see that for myself.’

Blacklace says ‘There’s nothin to see! They drive around all day in these metal boxes crashin into each other. You’ve never seen something that’s called a music video.’

Both Bloodblade and Fiylin look at each other and say ‘Music video?’

Blacklace says ‘Aye! Yes, the silly little humans make videos of themselves. Images that they can see upon their little boxes that they stare into all the time.

There’s some horrible music playing behind it, and a bunch of them dancing around in dandy little clothes. And their hair… my gosh, have you seen their hair? It’s horrible.’

Fiylin Xansheel then looks long and hard at Blacklace and says ‘Have you seen your hair?’

Blacklace says ‘There is nothin wrong with my beautiful hair. So many want it, these wonderful strands.’

As Blacklace begins to rub her fingers through her hair, a small blue crab falls out and scurries across the floor. Both Bloodblade and Fiylin Xansheel look at each other grinning and chuckling.

Blacklace says ‘I’m tellin ya, Fiylin. There is nothin down there in Midgard you wish to see.’

Fiylin says ‘Well, maybe you think so.’

Blacklace stands all the way up, staggers a little bit, grabs another bottle of wine, pops the cork, and drinks half of it.

She then says ‘Nah, there’s a whole other reason you wanna go down there. Why do you want to go down there? Tell your captain! Be truthful.’

Fiylin Xansheel leans back for a moment in his chair, placing his hand behind his head. He says ‘I want to drive a car.’

Blacklace spits out the wine nearly choking herself. She says ‘A-a car!? You wanna drive one of them human death boxes?!’

Fiylin Xansheel nods and says ‘I think it will be fun. I’ve seen them driving around competing against each other in a race. I can imagine myself behind the wheel taking first place every single time.’

Blacklace then bursts out laughing again and says ‘Driving, taking first place every single time in one of them death caskets? Yeah I can imagine that will really happen.

You can’t even steer one of the longboats to shore. What makes you think you can drive one of those human metal coffins?’

Fiylin Xansheel says ‘I don’t know. I’ll just have to see when I get there.’

Blacklace says ‘You don’t wanna go there, I’m tellin ya. Humans ehh… you don’t wanna have a vessel of one of them. They don’t have those ridiculous long, pointy ears like yours. And let me tell ya, I’ve seen some of them in the bath. Ass is more hairy than a fresh newborn baby dwarve.’

Bloodblade and Fiylin Xansheel look at each other with a puzzled yet curious look upon their faces.

Blacklace says ‘Oh yeah, whole lot of ‘em are hairy. Worse than trolls.’

Fiylin Xansheel says ’Still it would be an adventure. Imagine it. Sailing upon their seas in one of their great metal ships. Hearing the cannons roaring as they blast against the enemy.’

Blacklace laughs again and says ‘I thought you wanted to drive a fucking car. Now you’re talking about going on one of their rickety dickety ships. Their ships cannot even lift off from the seas.

That’s how pathetic they are. What the hell are ya going to do - bring the car along with you upon the ship and drive it around on top of the deck of it?’

Fiylin Xansheel says ‘I just might.’

Blacklace says ‘Fine fine fine. If you’re so hellbent on having this incarnation, this vessel in Midgard… I guess your captain can lend a hand with this. I know somebody. A very, very powerful wizard. He helped me once when I was curious about going to Midgard.

You’re going to find out it’s a terrible place. But if you wanna get down there and lose your pointy ears, and have a hairy ass like all the rest of the humans, I guess I’m not one to stop ya. We’ll set course right away. Get the crew together.’

Bloodblade then stands and says ‘Uhh… I think the crew have already retired for the evening. We did have a successful raid today, and there was plenty of wine.’

Blacklace says ‘It don’t matter, we’ll sail drunk then. We can find our way. I know it like the back of my hand. Now trust me. Let’s go.’

The three of them leave the captain’s chambers. Fiylin Xansheel stands out on the deck looking at the drunken crew passed out from their celebrations.

He lifts up a horn sitting there tied to the helm of the ship. He takes it and blows it. There is a loud thunderous roar, and many of the crew are awakened and startled.

Blacklace says ‘Alright, listen up. My number two guy here wants to make an incarnation vessel so we’re going to see the great wizard. Everybody let’s get this ship ready to go.’

The crew staggers to their feet and begins to prepare the ship to leave.

Blacklace stands behind the helm with both hands upon it and says ‘Alright. Now before you go down there wrecking those death caskets with other humans, let me show ya how to really drive.’

Fiylin Xansheel bows and says ‘By all means great captain.’

Blacklace concentrates. The ship begins to glow brightly and lifts above the water where it has been sitting. It takes off with a flash.

Blacklace says ‘That’s what I should do. Get in some of those race car driving things down there. I would go through them and smash the hell out of them. Be always number one. Always the winner like I am here.’

The ship travels to a far-off realm. There it comes to rest in a beautiful lagoon. Upon the beach in the lagoon is a tiny shack.

Blacklace says ‘There it is! The great wizard. He knows all, and he knows how to do what you’re desiring. To make a vessel in Midgard. He is the most powerful wizard I have ever met. Alright, prepare the longboat.’

Fiylin Xansheel helps lower the longboat into the waters. He is excited. He thinks to himself making race car noises as he hums. ‘Fiylin takes first place again!’ he whispers to himself.

Blacklace, Fiylin Xansheel, and Bloodblade then lower themselves down into the longboat and begin rowing towards the shore.

When the boat reaches the shore, the three depart from it, walking towards the small shack. It seems that there is a light coming from within.

As the three of them near the door, Blacklace taps in a rhythmic pattern and says ‘Great wizard ole friend, are ya here?’

There is nothing but silence. Just then the trees and forest around them begin to rustle.

Blacklace says ‘Make ready men. It might be that someone has come to steal the great wizard’s power. If they have, we will hang them from the highest mast.’

The three prepare themselves for whatever is coming from the forest. As it nears closer, a wizard who is wearing nothing but a mask jumps out and shakes his staff at them.

The wizard says ‘Begone you! I will bring the seas down upon your head. I will raise the oceans like I raise my hand. Be wary, be wary. For I carry a mighty sword that can cut realms in two!’

The three stare at each other and then look back at the old wizard who is stark naked standing there shaking his staff at them, wearing a very poorly made mask.

Blacklace then chuckles and says ‘It’s me, old friend. And if you’re gonna slash anything with that tiny sword between your legs… well, you’re gonna have to go see the smithy because that thing looks dull and worn.’

The wizard looks down noticing his nakedness. He quickly drops his staff and places his hands to cover himself.

The wizard says ‘Oh where did my robe go? I just had it here.’

As the wizard turns and tries to look for his robe, he then notices that it is somewhat down caught around the bottom of his foot. He tries to chase it, but turns around until he falls.

Bloodblade, Blacklace, and Fiylin look at each other. The wizard says ‘There must be some kind of enchantment or curse upon my robe. Who has cursed me?! They will feel my wrath! I will bring the oceans down upon them. I will cut them in two with my mighty sword!’

Blacklace sighs. She walks over to the mighty wizard, helping him up and gathering his robe placing it upon him. The wizard then touches her face and says ‘You have freed the curse of my robe! How can I repay you, dear friend?’

Blacklace says ‘My friend here, my number two man Fiylin. He wishes to make an incarnation in the Midgard realm, in the world of men. He wants to drive one of those fancy death caskets.’

The wizard says ‘Driving fancy death caskets, of course. Midgard vessel, yes. Yes, follow me. I know just the thing.’

As the wizard walks away towards his shack, he catches his robe upon the log that strips it right off of him. The wizard is stark naked again. His mask is set upon his head as he opens the door to his shack.

He says ‘Ah I have just the thing inside. Come on, quickly.’

Blacklace sighs and gathers up the wizard’s robe. When they enter his small shack, she hands it back to him. When he turns around and sees it, he is quite surprised.

The wizard says ‘Look there it is again! It just keeps getting cursed. Cursed! Who tries to curse me? I will bring down upon the oceans. I will split them in two with my mighty sword.’

Blacklace says ‘Don’t worry, don’t worry. My man Fiylin Xansheel got him. He was trying to steal your robe again, but Xansheel took him down with his trusty rifle.’

Fiylin Xansheel smiles at the wizard while patting the rifle on his back. He says ‘One shot, one kill. Got him before he could get away.’

The wizard goes before Fiylin and places his hands upon him. He says ‘Oh I thank you! You are so brave. If there is anything I can do for you, anything. Just name it and I shall.’

Fiylin Xansheel says ‘The incarnation in Midgard. You said you had something here.’

The wizard says ‘Oh yes, yeah I do. If you want to make a vessel in Midgard, well then I have just the thing.’

Bloodblade leans over to Fiylin and says ‘Be careful. I don’t think this wizard is in his right mind.’

Fiylin nods in acknowledgment to Bloodblade and says ‘Agreed.’

The wizard then says ‘Now I have many magic. Much powerful magic. I have done things. I have raised the oceans upon my enemies and have crushed them-'

Blacklace interrupts and says ‘Yeah, yeah, yeah, and you cut them in two with your mighty dingy sword. Can we get to the magic part?’

The wizard says ‘Oh yes, yes I have just the thing. But unfortunately, it may not be a mighty spell that you think of. There is no great ritual that I need to perform. You may not be totally impressed.’

Fiylin Xansheel rolls his hand and says ‘Okay, yeah yeah. Rituals, impress… yeah yeah. Get on with it. What do you have for us, old man?’

The wizard says ‘I have a very powerful elixir. One that can transform great things. This can create you a vessel in the realm of men. Do any of you like wine?’

The wizard turns around with a strange black bottle in his hand.

The three look at each other. Fiylin then says ‘Why yes. Yes we do.’

The wizard says ‘Since you have saved me from whoever has tried to steal my magic robe, I give you this bottle. Drink it, and it will help you create a vessel in Midgard. But just one drink is all you need.’

Fiylin Xansheel grabs the bottle from the old wizard’s hand and says ‘Fair enough.’

He pops the cork and tilts it back, taking several swallows of the powerful elixir. Once he is done, he pops his lips and says ‘Ahh… that’s actually really good. However, I don’t- whoa…’

Fiylin Xansheel almost drops the bottle. Bloodblade grabs it before it hits the floor. Fiylin Xansheel falls backward. He begins to close his eyes and can see strange things on the other side.

Blacklace and Bloodblade look at each other. Blacklace then says ‘That must be some really good shit! Let me get a drink.’

Blacklace grabs the bottle from Bloodblade. As she tilts it back to her mouth, there is nothing left. She says ‘We’re gonna need some of this wine for the whole crew. Powerful mighty wizard, do you have any more of this laying around?’

The wizard says ‘I only have two bottles left and-'

Blacklace pushes the wizard aside and says ‘Where are they then? Are they in here?’ She grabs the two other mysterious black bottles.

The wizard nods his head and says ‘That is them.’

Blacklace says ‘Well, I just saved you again from someone trying to steal your all-powerful robe. I squashed them like a bug under my foot.’

Blacklace barely lifts her foot and the wizard looks down. She says ‘Ah you don’t wanna see it. It’s a gruesome sight.’

The wizard stares into the eyes of Blacklace and says ‘You have saved my robe from my enemies! Now whatever it is I can do for you, whatever you desire… I am the most powerful wizard ever. I have raised the seas to crush my enemies.’

Blacklace says ‘These two bottles of wine will do fine. Bloodblade, get Fiylin. He’s too drunk to walk back. We’ll be leaving now, wizard.’

Fiylin is in a strange state. He can see through eyes opening. He is looking around and there are several humans speaking to him in a language he does not understand. He tries to move, but he feels as if he cannot stand or walk. As if his limbs cannot hold his weight.

Blacklace slaps Fiylin on the cheek and says ‘Come on, come on. Snap out of it. We’ve gotta get back to the boat.’

Bloodblade places Fiylin’s arm around his shoulder and lifts Fiylin up. The three of them begin staggering back to the boat. The old wizard grabs his robe and accompanies them outward.

The three of them get into the longboat. Blacklace says ‘Bloodblade, you’re gonna have to row. Thank you old pal wizard for everything you have done.’

The wizard bows his head and says ‘You have done me a great deed by saving my powerful robe ten times from enemies that have come.’

Blacklace then bows her head and says ‘And you have done us a great deed, my friend. Farewell, mighty wizard. We shall meet again one day.’

Blacklace signals to Bloodblade who begins to row the boat out into the distance of their ship. As they are standing, Fiylin Xansheel regains himself a little.

Fiylin Xansheel says ‘I think I did it. I’m almost there.’

Blacklace turns to him and says ‘Why? What do you see? What’s it like huh? Is it the same? I’m wondering.’

Fiylin Xansheel says ‘I don’t know. Every time I close my eyes, there are humans around me. I gotta find a car. I gotta find a car…’

Fiylin then tries to stand but slumps back into the boat. As he falls, he lays unconscious and begins to snore.

Blacklace says ‘Aye, go drive your race car in your dreams.’

Blacklace turns to see that the old man upon the shore once again has lost his robe. He is stammering around stark naked while screaming at the top of his lungs ‘I will bring down the oceans upon you! I will strike you down with my MIGHTY sword!’

Blacklace raises one of the black bottles and salutes the old man. She says ‘Aye, my friend. That ya will.’

The three make it back to the boat and they depart. Fiylin Xansheel is still seeing through the eyes of his vessel.

As he snores and dreams, he makes little noises in his sleep. ‘Vrooooom. Fiylin takes first place again.’ Fiylin Xansheel dozes off.

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