Past Incarnation Reading for Amanda

For this Past Incarnation Reading we focused in-depth on three of your past incarnations. Abuse and assault warning...

*Medieval Incarnation*
You are in a carriage. You are possibly royalty or a daughter of a vassal. You are riding with your father. You seem like you are Catalonian.

You are distraught. You are being married off to someone. The son of another Lord. You and your father are traveling. You are discussing back and forth. You are telling him about your disagreements to this marriage.

You find the person you are being married to as cruel. There is no love attraction there. You feel disgusted by him. The father is telling you that this is your duty and he will hear no more of it.

You are arriving at a castle, but it is not a big grand castle. It looks like this is in southern France. You are getting off the carriage. The other Lord and his son are there to greet you. You are still looking distraught.

The son of this Lord is approaching you. He says "My Lady" he takes your hand and kisses it. You feel disgust at this. He notices that you are feeling this way. He says to his father "If this is my bride to be she should show me more courtesy when I extend my hand in welcome."

You reply "You should show more courtesy in the way that you treat the people that serve you." Your father says to you "Jess!" You say to your father "He is known for his cruelty and the way he treats the peasants of his land."

The other Lord, the father of the son, is trying to calm the situation. He says "I am sure that they are weary from their travels and tired. I am sure after a long good meal the mood will lighten." He motions for you to come into the main hall.

You are sitting at a banquet table. You are discussing the topics of the day. There are many of this Lord's men at arms. They are talking about the great union that this marriage is going to bring. The great allegiance.

The Lord that is the father of the son is saying "Let us all be blessed and praised under God that the union between Jezua and my son Midian that it flourishes and may they produce many heirs. For the King of France himself has blessed this union." They all cheer and raise their glasses except for you.

You are at the wedding ceremony. Whoever this son's father is he must be a very important Lord to the King of France. King Philip of France is there at the wedding. He is going to oversee his blessing of it. That is the way they did things back then.

You are both taking the union. The bishop that is presiding over it is giving the marital rites. This whole time you are feeling total disgust as if your whole life has been taken away. You feel betrayed by your father. You feel like a pawn. You are a pawn in this time.

The union is completed. He leans forward to kiss you, but you don't really kiss him back. He pauses and pulls back for a moment. He gives you a terrifying glare. All of these Lords and Ladies, the King and Queen, they are all cheering and clapping. They are applauding the marriage.

You are in the bed chamber of Midian. You are laying in the bed totally terrified. Midian enters and he has servants disrobe him. He asks the servants to leave.

You look up at him and say "Please my Lord, not tonight. It has been such a day for me." This enrages him. He says "First you insult me when I welcome you into my home. Now you are insulting me when I am offering my seed. Yet you do not welcome it as my wife?"

He jumps on you and pins you down. He tells you "The first thing you understand. You like the people who serve me and my property. You are never equal to me. You never will be equal to me. You will be my property as my lands and as the very robes I wear are my property." You are trying to struggle. He takes you by force.

A few years down the line... You are with a young daughter maybe two or three years old. You are outside in the garden. You are enjoying your time with your daughter. You are happy in this moment.

You hear somebody from a tower. He is saying "Open the gates. Our Lord has returned victorious from battle." You get this sinking feeling within you.

You pick up your daughter and you say "Come along Mary." You go to greet your husband. He gets down from his horse and people are gathering around him.

He is saying "Beloved people of my lands. Our King Philip was victorious in battle. With the strength of God on our side we have driven the English back. Soon we will drive them from our country. Yours truly fought gallantly against many of these Heathen Hordes. I myself personally slayed many English men."

He keeps boasting on and on... People are mindlessly cheering him on. Probably because they know what would happen if they didn't. While they are cheering he says "Where is my wife?"

He notices you and he walks up and says "You did not greet your victorious husband who returned from battle. You should be more thankful of things that you receive."

There is a constant fear in you for this man. He has purposely tortured people in front of you. He tortured them for the silliest little things. Like not paying their taxes to him. He has done some pretty sick things.

He likes to leave marks on people to let those who he rules over see what happened. It is like a mark of shame. Sometimes he burns out an eye, brands them, cuts off fingers, cuts out their tongue, all kinds of effed up shit. He is very abusive to you.

You are in your chambers. You are sitting with your daughter. Midian comes in drunk. He is on a really high horse and boasting about how great he is and what he did in the battle. He has more title and land granted to him by King Philip.

He has a chalice in his hand. He finishes drinking and he throws the chalice to the floor. He looks at you and commands "Put the child to bed. Tonight I am going to produce a male heir."

You turn to him and say "Why don't you go produce it with one of the handmaidens or one of your stable girls? You have plenty of them to choose from." This enrages him. He forces you down.

Mary is on the floor crying. He is telling you "You will produce me and heir. You will do as I say and as I command. Or just like that you could have an accident. Or..."

He kind of gets up for a moment and walks over to Mary. He strokes her hair. "Or things precious to you I can take."

You look at him with tears in your eyes and you scream at him "You wouldn't dare!" He says "Well I have plenty other maidens to choose from." Then he goes back and forces himself on you again.

Flashing forward a bit... There is a horse drawn carriage. You and Midian are in it. You are pregnant. Mary is there with you as well. It seems like you are traveling to northern France.

He is going to view these new lands that the King gave him. He looks at you and says "You should be enthused about this trip. You might end up staying there."

Ark can see the carriage. There are two guards on horseback in front of it and four more behind. Plus there is a guard riding on the back of the carriage and two more sitting up front with the driver.

He is seeing one of the front guards on the front of the carriage being hit with arrows. He went down. They are drawing their swords and saying "Ambush! Bandits!"

Men are running out of the forest. They look like Englishmen. Maybe mercenaries. There is a fight going on.

One of the guards is saying "Don't worry my Lord, we will protect you with our lives." Midian is looking at you and says "Maybe today is the day you show your worth to me by giving your life for me."

When he says it there is a jolt in the carriage. You are both thrown down to the floor of the carriage. Something spooked one of the horses and it is running with the carriage out of control.

Midian is yelling out "Driver! Driver!" He opens up the little slot to where the driver would be. The driver of the carriage is slumped over dead with an arrow inside him.

The carriage loses control and it flips. You are holding on to Mary and shielding her while you are inside. The carriage breaks up a little bit.

You fall out and you roll a few times with Mary in your arms. You begin to regain yourself. You check Mary and yourself. Except for a few scrapes you seem to be okay.

You hear a voice that is loud but it sounds distraught "Jezua help me!" You are carrying Mary. You go back over to where the wreckage of the carriage is. You see Midian and he is trapped under some of the carriage. Some of the wood is splintered into his abdomen.

He looks up to you while you walk up to him. "Jezua my savior." He reaches up and says "Help me. My beautiful wife help me." You look down at him and you spit. You start walking away. He becomes irate.

"Jezua! I command you! You deny your husband! You deny your Lord!" You walk off for maybe 15 or 20 yards. You set Mary down. You kiss Mary on the forehead and say "Stay here."

You walk back to Midian. He looks up and starts playing sweet again "I knew you couldn't leave me my Love. I knew you could never abandon your Lord." You walk off to the side of him. You put your foot on his neck and start pressing down. He is gagging.

He is trying to grab your leg to push you off. You keep pressing down harder with your foot on his neck. He is trying to fight but he is so weak. You press really hard and there is a snap. You broke his neck then you spit on him again.

You start walking back towards Mary when you hear people coming. It is a few of the guards. They are looking for Midian saying "My Lord! My Lord!" They find him dead. One of the other guards says "My Lady Jezua!" You cry back "I am here!"

A guard puts his hands on your shoulders and says "Thanks be to God that you are safe."

You say back to him "It is my Lord and beloved husband who saved us. He pushed me and Mary from the carriage before it wrecked." The guard says "And we are forever grateful to him."

Flashing forward... You and Mary are a bit older. There is a little boy around 5 or 6 years old. He is the new Lord. You rule this part of the land. Things have changed.

The people are more friendly and happier. There are no more of these harsh punishments. The people love you and they love your children. They are very respectful.

Flashing forward more... There is a man in his late 20s or early 30s. This must be your son. You are on your deathbed. He is beside you.

He is sad and says "Everything that I am. All of my honor and compassion, my strength and humility, I learned from you. The world will be a sadder place without you and heaven will be a much more joyous one."

*South American Incarnation*
This looks like it could be Peru. Ark sees a small village. You are grinding grain. There is a baby sleeping off to the side.

You look up and you see some of the other women, children, and villagers stopping what they are doing to greet somebody who is returning. It is a group of 7 or 8 men. One must be your husband because you run up and embrace him.

You look at him and say "Any luck?" He shakes his head no and says "Nebwae, the land just keeps getting dryer and dryer."

He is saying that the whole village may have to move and search for water. "What water we have here is running dry and soon it will be gone. Tonight we all gather and speak of the best action to take."

It is in the evening, there is a fire. All the villagers are gathered around. There is an older man who is sitting at the head of the circle. He must be the chieftain.

One man is standing up and saying "Journeying north will take us into the territory of our enemies." He is arguing why they should not go north.

Your husband stands up and says "Pacwae speaks the truth and is very wise. He is the best of our warriors and knows our enemy very well. But if we stay here we will meet certain death at the hands of thirst and starvation."

Many of the villagers are agreeing. Your husband says "Journeying north is our only option. I believe that Pacwae and the other warriors will protect us along this journey. This is a sign of from the ancestors that our time in this land has come to an end. Like our ancestors before us we must find a new place to live where we will thrive."

The chieftain is saying "I have heard everyone's argument tonight. I shall ask the ancestors and they shall answer me. By tomorrow I will make my decision on what to do."

People are gathering around the chieftain's hut. They are waiting for him. A shaman comes out of the hut before the chieftain. They he comes out.

He says "My people. The ancestors have spoken. We must go north and find new land and new life. We have much preparation to do. I know that all of you will come together and we shall make this the best that we can."

You are all working and packing things up. You are there with your husband and the baby. You are having small talk. Your husband is joking around a bit. He pulls out this long feather that has a bunch of beads and shells on it.

You look at him and say "Only things of importance we must take." He takes the feather and says "What will I dance with in the ceremonial dance?" You both laugh and he puts the feather aside. You start packing more things of importance.

Now Ark sees you all traveling. The whole village is traveling together. You are all in good spirits. You are walking beside your husband. You say "How far do you think we will make it today?"

He points off into the distance and says "Hopefully we can make it to that ridge before nightfall. It will be a good place to camp. Our scouts have said there is a stream that runs through there. We can refill our water for our continuous journey."

You are camping down for the night at the ridge. You are celebrating a little bit to keep your spirits up. You are sitting with your husband. There are men dancing. He is eager to get out there and dance yet at the same time he is reluctant. You say "I have something that will brighten your spirits."

You reach over and unfold this leather. You pull out the feather. He lights up. He takes the feather and goes out to dance and celebrate. You have the baby in your lap. You are feeling really happy in this moment. Everyone is enjoying this time.

It is early afternoon. They are packing up their camp and getting ready to move on. One man is running down and he has a club. It must be one of the warriors or scouts. Ark sees Pacwae. He is running up to this man and giving him water.

The man is exhausted and wounded. Pacwae says to him "Hita, where are the others?" Hita replies "We were attacked. Hurry, they are on their way. They will find us."

Pacwae comes up to your husband and says "Papwae, we must make ready and inform the chieftain." They are both speaking with the chieftain. It is being decided that the women, children, and elderly will travel a certain different way. While Pacwae and Papwae go the other way and hold off these enemy warriors.

You are standing with your husband Papwae. He is embracing you and you are crying a little bit. You are worried. He is comforting you and telling you that he will return.

He hands you the feather and says "Keep this. For when we find when we find where we are going I will dance to the ancestors." You take the feather. He heads off with his brother Pacwae and several other warriors.

The villagers who were with the women, children, and elderly are walking in a desert land. A lot of them are tired and their spirits are low. There are some that are falling from exhaustion.

Some of them are dying and some have died. There are a few ceremonies for the dead. You would mummify your dead and set them in certain places. You did not bury your dead. Many of the villagers died.

The villagers are trying to settle down. They found a small stream with really muddy water. They are trying to make the best of what their situation.

You have the baby on your back. You are gathering some things. You are telling this other woman that you will follow this stream and see if you can find some way for you all to survive.

You are saying to this woman that you believe that Papwae is already dead. You give the woman the feather and say "Just in case he returns. Let him know where I have gone."

You go and you keep following the stream. You are following it up this canyon ridge. You are exhausted and it has been a long journey. You finally make it to the top of the ridge. You are noticing that the stream is getting bigger and starting to flow more.

You start noticing more green trees. You are becoming excited and you are drinking more water. You notice a big body of water with lush forest around it. You take your child and say "We found it. We made it."

You are camping there at the body of water for the night. Then after that you head back down the stream back to your villagers. You going through a forest area following this. You stop for a second. You hear crackling off in the distance.

You look and the noise stops. You are looking around in fear. You are trying to find where this noise is coming from. You hear a growl right above your head. You look up and there is a jaguar. You start to panic. You grab a stick and make ready to defend yourself.

The jaguar creeps forward getting ready to pounce on you. Just as he gets ready to lunge forward you hit it in the head really hard with the stick. As you hit the jaguar it scratches up your arm. It is dazed for a second. The baby on your back is crying. The jaguar gains itself.

You grab a stone next to it and with all your strength you hit it again. The jaguar stumbles back. You start running. You pull your baby around to the front of you. You are looking back and trying to see where the jaguar is. You can feel it coming towards you.

Then you hear some other commotion. You turn behind you and you see the jaguar getting closer. You are so exhausted you can barely run. Your arm is bleeding. The jaguar is getting even closer.

Then you hear familiar voices. Some spears are thrown towards the jaguar and he is hit by one of them near his paw. Then you see Pacwae and Papwae. They jump out at the jaguar and scare it off. You cannot believe your eyes.

Papwae runs up to you and embraces you. You are so happy to see your husband. He takes and rips some of his clothing and uses it to wrap your arm.

He says "I am so thankful that I found you. I thought you could be dead." You replied "I thought you could be too." You say to him "I found it. I found a new home."

Your arm is bandaged up. The villagers are by the lake that you found. They are celebrating. You are sitting in the circle with the baby on your lap.

Your husband is out dancing with the feather along with the other warriors. Papwae turns to you and you smile at each other. Most of the rest of your life is spent peacefully.

*Sinapore 1800s Incarnation*
You are a girl about 15 years old. You are just running through the marketplace. There is an old man chasing you. He is yelling at you "You sell your cheap fish around mine. You take my business and my customers."

You are laughing as you are running. You sneak down an ally way. You creep down. You see the man standing in the ally way looking around. He is out of breath. He is looking but he cannot find you.

You are holding your mouth to keep yourself from laughing out loud. The man starts cussing and walks away. You are giggling. You are getting joy out of making this old man irate.

Then you notice a satchel on the ground. You pick it up and look inside. You pull out a gem broach. It has a huge sapphire. Your eyes light up.

You look around and then you put it in your shirt. You are looking around to see if anyone saw you. Then you sneak off down the ally at a light pace. Then a man steps out of the shadows. He watches you.

You are back at this little place. There are two teenage boys and a few teenage girls. You must all be orphans who live on the streets.

They are all gathered around a small bit of food. They are all laughing. You are telling them of the old man. You are all having fun with the conversation.

You look over at this other girl and you say "Mishu come here." You walk off together. She says "What is it Shishi?" You reach into your shirt and pull out this broach. You say "This is the answers to all our problems. Just think about how much we could get for this."

Mishu says "We are going to have to take this to the right people. If we try to sell it they will arrest us." You take it to these men. They seem like the criminal type. You didn't show the broach to them, but you told them you have a broach that you want to sell.

One of the men ask "Well, where is it? Let me see it." You say that you have it is in a safe place and that you will meet them later tomorrow in the market.

Later on you and Mishu are returning to where you were living. You come back to it and the whole place is ransacked. Your friends are dead. You are scared and in shock. You know what happened.

You go over to a floorboard and you pull it up. You pull out the satchel. Mishu says "Shishi we have to get out of here. We have to leave Singapore because they will kill us for this."

You are leaving your location. You are down at the dock. You have a little bit of coinage. You are trying to persuade this fisherman to take you somewhere.

He is agreeing it. He says "Stay on my ship for the night and we will disembark in the morning." You and Mishu are settling down for the night.

The fisherman is giving you dinner of some fish he had caught. He is making small talk and saying "Why are you leaving Singapore?"

Mishu is about to say something, but you cut her off. You say "We are out looking for adventure." The fisherman replies "I was like you at one time. It is going to be a long journey tomorrow so you had better get some rest."

You are both laying there sleeping on the boat. You wake up and you wake up Mishu. You say "Listen. Listen. Do you hear that?" You can kind of hear men talking.

You can hear the fisherman. He is telling these other men "I have them both below." You realize that you were betrayed and sold out.

You say to Mishu "We have to get out of here." You open this small port window. You crawl out and you are holding on the side of the boat going for this rope and it is holding it to the dock. You are going across this rope with your arms holding on to it.

You make it onto the dock. You hear a man yellig from the ship "There they are!" The men start running and chasing you. You are running all through the docks.

Mishu is falling behind. She has run out of breath. You are saying "Mishu, we have to split up! I will run towards the end of the dock. You run the other way." You start splitting up.

The men stop. Some are about ready to start chasing Mishu. You reach into your shirt and you pull out the broach and you hold it above your head. You yell "Here! Me! I have what you want!" All of the men start chasing you.

You are running down to this dock. You come to the end of it. Then men catch up and then they stop about 10 feet in front of you. One of the men say "Give us the broach girl and we won't hurt you."

You are hesitant at first. Then you turn and you throw the broach out into the water. Then men freak out. They stare at you and are incredibly angry.

They are deciding what to do with you. You are standing your ground. You decided that no matter what happens you are going to fight.

They put you into this big sack. Even though you are in there and you are scared you don't show your fear. One of these men is taking these really heavy stone weights and they are tying it onto the bag.

One of the men says "She wants to throw that is ours into the water. Let's see if she can retrieve it." They toss the sack you are inside and the weights into the water. You stayed strong until the end. Because you were willing to die and you accepted it you did not get stuck in the borderlands.

Response from Amanda:
I am beyond speechless at the moment… With all three stories of my incarnations, I deeply felt everything about them, especially with the Medieval incarnation. I instantly felt anger and just so much sadness to the point I was crying so much even though I wasn’t even half way through the story.

I somehow knew before even reading this particular incarnation reading that I may have been abused and assaulted in some ways. There have been times when I was younger, when a guy would touch me in a certain way (accidental or not), whether it being my thigh, waist, shoulders…

I would instantly freeze up and feel so vulnerable all of a sudden with no knowledge as to why I was feeling this way. Even when my male friends would wrap an arm around my shoulder or waist in a casual manner, I would instantly push them away without even thinking about it before walking off while my senses felt like they were being overloaded. This reading really gives me a feeling as to why that may be.

I’ve noticed a sense of bravery for each incarnation, despite the dangers. It is truly inspiring to me and has made me look at myself in a different way. I feel so much respect.

Thank you so much for this reading. It saddens me at some points, but I really don’t regret knowing about any of this at all. I’m glad I booked a session.

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Some post comments...

Del'sean: It is awesome. There is lot of struggles and hardship she is going through a lot. I'm glad that she found strength and hope that keep her going.

Caleb: You went through turmoil from what we see, yet you persevered through what was before thee, when danger was before you, you did what you had to, whether at times you ran, through any land, or faced any threat, I assume with no regret, I see something from you, a beauty that shines true, your actions show this to many, to me I see it in plenty, I hope you see what I see, because as of now you are writing your new story.

Amanda: That was beautifully said. I started to tear up a bit. Thank you.

Galen: Sorry if this is a stupid question, but some of these conversations are translated to modern day English right? People spoke differently in the past than they do now, and some of these are in another country/ speaking another language. So did you translate this?

Me: Of course it is translated. Many of them are in ancient dialects and languages.

Naturome: Amazing! I kept having to remember these are some of your past lives, I get so engrossed that I think I'm reading a book....