Been on My Mind... A Post by Garmina
(Note from Amy: this post was so touching to me that I wanted to include it to ensure it never gets lost.)
Garmina: Hello everyone. The arts bring so much joy and feeling in our life. I'd found a song. It reminded me so much of our queens and a select others from this group. It also made me relate a bit with my own journey and I'm hoping you'll like it too. Everyone has their own perspective and way of interpreting the world around them. https://youtu.be/lsz5ijRQvUY
This has been on my mind for quite a long time. In fact, maybe dating back to the starting of this group. I've been here since the numbers were less than a 100. I think it's time that I gave sound to what I feel (or felt).
Since beating around the bush is just tiresome I'll be blunt (I implore you to read till the end before bringing out the pitchforks, torches, stakes and shotguns):
I was jealous of everyone here. And I mean EVERYONE who got results or went on adventures. I didn't like how no matter how hard I tried, I could never be where the others were at. I felt like the weakest link in the chain. Pathetic and broken.
An outsider even in a group comprising of outsiders. The humour haha. I didn't know what people were talking about when they said they felt energies through posts. I didn't feel a thing.
Call it fate, coincidence or what you will, this song helped me see the bigger picture. I found this song when the important posts started coming along but I was unaware due to my human life. I started seeing how much work we have yet to do once I caught up with Amy's posts.
I'd always wanted to restore the earth even before Mind Power. The invaluable knowledge imparted here made me aware of the gravity of the situation. I realized that we are all on the same side and we must protect and restore our home. I learned how Amy has power but with it great responsibility; as do our other prominent figures in this group.
She carries a heavy burden and her haters are blind to that. (Let it be noted that I was never a hater though. I always admired Amy for her dedication to her work. Mind Power is glorious!
I would be in an Oblivion of my own if it weren't for her) Funny thing is, I've started to feel things while reading Amy's posts as well. It feels overwhelming in a good way. Looks like Amy has ensnared another in her cult jk jk.
Today the weather was lovely (pun intended hehe) With her return the mountains didn't hide behind mists. They stood proud and the mists lifted to be tufts of white cotton candy clouds embracing the clear the blue skies. The skies looked bluer, the sun shone brighter, the breeze danced and the earth and plants glowed with delight.
Certainly, others may have me committed but the day certainly was full of life after days of overcast. If her return made such an impact think of what may happen once we bring balance! *excited*
In the end I would like to say that jealousy isn't a dirty emotion. As long as you don't hold ill will, you can harness that to fuel your determination to better yourself. I get my episodes but I don't let it control me. Learn to be the master of your own self. (Me: *cough* speak for yourself *cough* I: shut up)
To all who are suffering, please know that time brings change. This is an incredibly overused line but true. A king once asked his advisors to make something for him so that he wouldn't lose his head both in times of sorrow and happiness.
An advisor had a ring made for him that had these words written on it: "This shall soon pass." Time flows and with it brings tide of change. Ups and downs. Ride the tides. (But I've never surfed before. haven't ever been to the sea)
And I would like to thank everyone who helped in the smallest to the biggest ways. From reply to my question in the comment section to giving me gifts of immense worth. You know who you are.
Also, I would like to thank everything that led me here. The good, the bad, everything. I've found a haven here that I had never dreamed of finding. Oh, I'm tearing up. THANK YOU. Thank the fates. Thank the cosmos. Most of all thank Aphrodite / Amy.
P.S. haven't played the game from which the song comes so the song may have significance of its own. Like I said, various interpretations.
Some post comments...
Me: What a beautiful and profound post Garima. You have many wonderful experiences ahead of you. When I said no to connecting your energetic body it was not to hold you back, it is to help you become even better. You have something more profound in store for you.
Just as when I denied Tulkas being named until the time was right and it turned out better than he imagined when I revealed his ancient name. I truly care for you Garmina. I care for my allies in this group as I care for my Kah.
Garmina: Amy Bass A traitorous voice had whispered poisonous words to me when you had said no. But I swatted it away. Deep down I understand that all that you do, you do it for us. For nature folk. For your friends and allies. For balance.
You have wisdom and knowledge that we don't know of. Frankly if anybody ever asks, "What does she know?" I say, "She knows well enough." There are things that go behind the scenes.
We mostly take up the role of the audience. We see the play but never the rehearsals and how the actors we adore have their own struggles. Sorry, I seemed to have gone off the rail. Anyway, in a nutshell, (I've said it before, I'll say it again) I trust you and I trust your judgment.
Lily C: You know what, I felt like outsider too because everyone’s connected to their Ts and are going on these crazy adventures and I’m here just reading about it but through these times I’ve learned the art of patience. Take one step at a time and prepare yourself. I know that my time to shine will come just as everyone else’s, and so will yours.
Lisa: I feel this too Lily, my time is not yet to know, but soon I hope.
Lily U: I totally get your feelings. I’m still jealous about other’s results, abilities, adventures and everything but I learn to not look at them too frequently... Focusing on the little accomplishments that I have achieved is actually more comforting and motivating to me...
Safina: You are awesome Garima. I like the way you’ve expressed yourself. Maybe you’re not the only one who feels this way. Most of us do.
Aradhna: I completely understand how you feel...because I feel the same way. Sometimes I have these overwhelming moments of doubt where I feel "maybe I am not worthy. Maybe, I will never become a part of Amy's team and their cosmos altering adventures. Maybe, I will never reach there...Maybe I do not have it in me. I am not special at all."
These are moments when I feel intense jealousy and (almost) resent other's progress because of my own lack of accomplishments... But then I take a step back, and realize, I have come to gain so much from not only from Amy's subs but also the interactions happening in this group.
My views about the world and also about myself have changed...I am so much more confident and brave than the meek girl who had joined the group and had no spine to post anything but be a silent spectator.
I have learnt to stand up for myself, I have become more observant and perceptive, I have beginning to feel vibes/energy in the posts (at least the ones related to Amy), often I can get a sense (though often very weak) of the future now.
So, I may be incredibly, pathetically, unimaginably slow...but I am getting there. I will be there one day, standing right beside Amy, serving by her side someday... I believe in what I had come here for...I believe in Mind Power.
Me: Aradhna You are more connected than you realize.
Aradhna: Amy You saying this means so much to me! Thank you so much. At times I feel my connection to you is deep, but it might be just my vanity. I will patiently (yet desperately) wait for my IG session to know what my TS means to you.
Me: Aradhna It is not vanity. Your true self does have a connection with me.
Mateusz: An important thing to learn... is the ability and skill to reforge the emotions you feel and any setbacks you face into tools. I was being incredibly jealous and angry at people getting results, where my 2 years of electrokinesis got me almost nowhere. What I did was channel it into the little spark inside of me, that warrior spark. And I watched it grow into an inferno.
I was in this group since just about its every beginning. That's quite some time now. I felt it was unfair that people on whom I've had a headstart were so much more advanced than me... I still do to a point.
When I channeled all of that anger and jealousy towards a new subliminal, I got amazing results the very next day I started using it. That is how I kept pushing myself forward. I didn't see jealousy and hate anymore. I saw a ladder that I could use to climb the sky. And so I did. I am climbing it now.
Hylius: You are loved Garima. I was in the same place. I wanted to be part of these epic adventures. I had to learn the same way everyone here is learning.
In fact it's thanks to Amy I am becoming more aware and learning to use my judgement wisely. I am becoming the more epic being I choose to be...by becoming my True Self. I am beyond honored to be here, even though I haven't said thank you yet...to which I change by saying "Thank you, Lovely."
Mateusz: There are many challenges and tests you must go through to manifest those abilities. Or go on adventures in other realms. You should recognize that what your are going through each day is an adventure and test in and of itself. There are many beings who would seek to test you to see whether you are worthy or to teach you a lesson you must learn. Sometimes those tests can be very brutal.
Another aspect that you must recognize and acknowledge is that being the person experiencing those otherworldly adventures is different to reading about them. They are not always fun and games. In fact, they rarely are.
What you are going through in your personal lives on Midgard serves to prepare you for what is to come. Most people are simply not ready for the sudden change of lifestyle that comes with all of this. In fact, I never feel ready myself. I just do my best to walk through each and every challenge with all I have. And I recommend you to do the same.
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